Counseling ideally affords clients an opportunity to openly address, consider, and reflect thoughts and feelings around the longevity and vitality of relationships. Whether a business relationship, romantic, familial, or other, relationships frequently do not stay the same from season to season of life. At times, it may make the most sense to chunk the duece, peace out, swan song, mic drop, sayonara…you get it. For those of you who have had to heal from pain at the end of any relationship, here are my top 5 ways to bounce back after a break-up.
Restore friendships with anyone who has been on the sideline or back-burner. Frequently, romantic relationships have a way where other friendships move to the sideline. This can be totally normal. Now, it’s time to reach back out and host a get-together or suggest an outing. If necessary, let your friend(s) know you are sorry for any pain you caused through being absent. For now, avoid over-explaining and vow internally that in the future, you will maintain friendships in the future. Remember, a good romantic fit will appreciate the special people in your life and also connect you with their outer circles.
Pump up work performance
Whether it’s connecting directly with a member of upper-management or re-establishing a connection with a colleague, it’s important to ensure things are on the up-and-up at work. The last thing you want right now is to have trouble at work. Whether or not things are going wonky, ask to help a group with a project or find ways to be immediately helpful with key people in your office. I remember finding a common bond with my campus registrar one year and that relationship was a needed confidant and professional reference. Consider bringing donuts for the break room as an inexpensive and simple way to re-connect with colleagues.
After an emotional break-up, consider counseling with a focus on how you can personally grow, heal, and change. It is perfectly fine to lament the pain from the relationship, but the key you want as an anchor for your work your part and role. How did you get into such a poor situation? Are there behaviors, patterns, and thought-processes that can be adjusted? Totally an aside, but my two cents about finding quality care is to seriously consider a private practice clinician. These clinicians can give you the absolute best-care. It’s okay if you can only do this for a short period of time. Commit to 10 weekly sessions, communication this with your chosen counselor, and do the hard work, showing up every week for your committed number of sessions. As a private practice counselor, my opinion is that weekly work is the best way to get the results this scenario presents. Yes, you will find rockstar counselors in many settings. I personally thing private practice is the most ethical and sustainable form of work for professional counselors. There are many reasons for this, but to dive into that would considerably take us far from the focus of this article.
Reclaim Your Environment
Reset your physical spaces with a simple plan from FlyLady or another organizing professional. Reclaim your bathroom, your bedroom, and your vehicle with clearing out token memories that no longer serve you, items that do not belong to you, and through a quick vacuum and wipe down. Rearrange furniture if needed. Throw out bedsheets if you need to. Find a new scent for your spaces through scented satchels, quality air freshener, and a new candle or aromatherapy. If possible, consider a new color pop on the wall or as an accessory. You want to rejoice when you enter your new space, so anything that creates a sense of lament, toss it!
Sow Good Seed
Find an outlet to give back to your community. Whether you volunteer at the local animal shelter or partner with an organization like Helping Hand Home, it feels good to do good! Find a place to do good, without any reward other than the smile of those you are momentarily serving or the smile of the volunteers in your vicinity. Find a good place to give good as an avenue for perspective and positivity.Endings can frequently be bittersweet and emotional. It is absolutely normal to experience both gladness and sadness about the break of a relationship, any relationship! Take the time to heal, reflect, and pivot for the journey ahead. These five points can help you move forward.
This is a modified article originally published by Glam (summer 2023) featuring Jennifer Lytle as an expert in healthy closure to unhealthy romantic relationships.
If you need support due to a life/relationship transition, consider the providers at Joyful Journeys Counseling. We have worked with hundreds of couples facing the challenges of blending lives…and sometimes saying goodbye. Schedule a free 20-minute consultation today online, text, or email us.