Jennifer LytleI don’t know about you, but the spring semester typically has me feeling overwhelmed. Summer rest, recovery, and reconnection thoughts might be percolating . . . or you might be cringing at the thought . . . it’s such a busy season! The spring can be like a marathon push straight towards the start of summer without a breath, beat, or break. Whether it’s swim competitions, track, golf, birthdays, or the slew of obligatory celebrations, we get it!
From Spring to Summer
Don’t let that stop you from promoting some get-togethers, hang-outs, and pow-wows for yourself and your teens. Parenting teenagers can challenge your own social skills. Community is “a thing” we know is important for quality of life. Collective community, social network, extended family, school friends, whatever name it goes by, for tweens and teens, neuroscience confirms they are essential. These relationships provide middle to late childhood opportunities to develop trust, intimacy, and attachment (Güroğlu, 2022). Certainly, the parent-child connection is imperative, but that is foundational and preliminary. As our kids grow, they must create and experience their own (or extended version of) extended community and connection. Choosing Therapy published an article by Lytle (2023) about teen friendships with a guide for parents.
Teens Need Support Connecting
In family counseling or in teen therapy, parents underscore their concern for their teen. Conscientious parents are acutely aware of the need for their teen to broaden connections and expand a network that can support a successful transition into early late childhood leading into young adulthood. Parents complain about the juxtaposition of their experiences as teenagers to that of their own children.
My teen is so shy.
She never wants to go anywhere with her friends.
My son would choose to stay at home every weekend if he could.
Parents Need Support Letting Teens Connect
It’s not just teens who need support. Parent behavior affects teens (Neuroscience News, 2025). Joyful Journeys Counseling works with parents who need help maintaining the balance between providing healthy autonomy in tandem with parent-child connection, affection, and communication. Protective parenting can seem like a loving act. When it comes to rearing teenagers, a transition from this approach benefits healthy child development. Here are some objections our team has heard from parents about prohibiting their teen from social free time.
I can‘t trust anybody!
My teen lies about things that aren’t even important. How can I let him go anywhere?
If I don’t know them, my teen’s not spending time with them.
We’re so busy. She just needs some time with family.
I’m so busy. I cannot fit anything else in.
You might not feel comfortable with your teen’s choice of friends, but your teen needs connection and community. In this stage of life, that community must extend beyond you.
Your teen needs connection and community. With more than you.
Studies show that teens are more likely to turn to friends in response to crisis than anywhere else (Geulayov et al., 2022). So, how can you promote healthy connections? You can make it easy . . . and fun! Here are some quick ideas about how to get friends together in an effort to develop your child’s social connections, try these.
- Host a movie night – make it a classic or one that’s easy for other parents to say yes to
- Host a game night
- Celebrate the end of the school year
- Plan a meet-up at the local library, arcade, or bowling alley (parent-hack pro-tip many local business will offer promotions during the summer with free or low rate offers)
- Buy water balloons in bulk and host a picnic
Do you like these ideas? Try one from our Teen Summer printable.
Parenting Teens Book
With so much pressure for mindful parents, our thoughtful anthology with Joyful Courage’s Casey O’Roarty, Clair White, Life Balance’s Layne Burkette, and Gen 1 Parenting’s Melanie Zwyghuizen, Raising Teens Who Talk to You: A Connected Parenting Approach to Adolescence will release on May 6. Follow the launch here and get a free copy of JJC’s Teen Summer Printable.
Sources
Berna Güroğlu, The power of friendship: The developmental significance of friendships from a neuroscience perspective, Child Development Perspectives, Volume 16, Issue 2, June 2022, Pages 110–117, https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12450
Geulayov, G., Borschmann, R., Mansfield, K. L., Hawton, K., Moran, P., & Fazel, M. (2022). Utilization and Acceptability of Formal and Informal Support for Adolescents Following Self-Harm Before and During the First COVID-19 Lockdown: Results From a Large-Scale English Schools Survey. Frontiers in psychiatry, 13, 881248. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.881248
Manchanda, T., Stein, A., & Fazel, M. (2023). Investigating the Role of Friendship Interventions on the Mental Health Outcomes of Adolescents: A Scoping Review of Range and a Systematic Review of Effectiveness. International journal of environmental research and public health, 20(3), 2160. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20032160
Neuroscience News. (2025, September 19). Parenting styles shape teen anxiety. https://neurosciencenews.com/parenting-teen-social-anxiety-29708/
