Jennifer LytleTeens today experience higher rates of anxiety and depression than any other illness, according to Bernaras, Jaureguizar, and Garaigordobil (2019). In fact, it might be the new normal for teens to have some experience with depression, anxiety, or both before their adult years.
Case Study
Angela and her son, Simon, have been navigating a bout of avoidance from all things social. Simon used to be an engaged student who was active in sports and in their community church youth group. Recently, Angela has noticed Simon asking to miss out on events that he used to be “perfectly fine” attending. She has noticed that he is quieter than usual at the family dinner table too. When asked directly, Simon shrugs his shoulders and the topic usually gets changed by another family member, but Angela is beginning to worry. She’s read about teen depression and wonders if Simon is showing signs of typical teen autonomy. Maybe it’s something more she asks herself at times.
Cause for Concern: When to Act on Instincts About Teen Mental Health
Parents like Angela who are concerned about their teen son or daughter would do well to follow up on their instincts. So, what is going on with Simon, but more applicable; what are clues that your teen could be dealing with anxiety or depression? Let’s take a look at what depression is and how parents can respond.
Depression: What is It?
Depression is described as impairment in various settings ranging from academic to social (Mendez et al., 2021). The caution seems to be two-fold in that a) when depression occurs in adolescence, it can be expected to reoccur and b) risky behaviors, including potential suicide, are eminent without treatment (Mendez et al., 2021). While you can expect that the world will be filled with trouble, your outlook can be both responsible and hopeful. A connected parent will neither ignore signs of potential depression, nor despair.
Signs of Teen Depression
Symptoms of depression can vary from individual to individual. It is important to understand your unique teen. In general, there are typical signs that can signal symptoms of depression. These can include:
- A Change in Appearance
- A Disinterest in Things Previously Enjoyed
- A Change in Sleeping/Eating Habits
- Volatile Mood Swings
WebMD has a more thorough list of potential signs of teenage depression.
How Can a Connected Parent Respond to Depression?
Practical steps for the parent of a teen with signs of depression and anxiety can offer a safety-net of support through social, parent-child relationship, academic, nutritional, and spiritual. The following are ideas for both hopeful and responsible parenting when your teen is dealing with signs of anxiety or depression.
Connection Points to Provide Teens to Combat Depression
Social
- Encourage your teen to join a team of any kind . . . even a virtual team!
- Ensure you know at least one parent of your teen’s friends
- Offer to host get-togethers or meet-ups
- Allow for and stay engaged with social events at school
Parent-Child Relationship
- Connect with your teen one-on-one
- Make a coffee run together
- Errand run to get him or her socks, pencils, whatever they need
- Catch a movie together, just the two of you
- Offer to play a video game with your teen
- Ask them about a friend, activity, hobby, or other thing your teen is knowledgeable about
- Simply listen
- Ask clarifying questions and convey interest (NOT judgment)
- Do a chore with your teen
- If they usually wash the dishes, hang out with them in the kitchen
- Help them change their sheets or vacuum their room
- Take out the trash in your teen’s room (again, NO judgment)
Academic
- Know who your teen’s favorite teacher is
- Ask your teen if they are willing to give teacher appreciation gifts and allow him or her to weigh in on your decision making
- Reminisce about a school project you completed together
- Offer to bring lunch on campus
Nutritional
- Get your teen multivitamins
- Ensure your teen has their annual physicals and well-checks
- Invite your teen to shop for nutritious and delicious snacks
- Invite your teen to bake or cook a favorite meal or treat to have on hand
- Stock your teen’s medicine cabinet/bathroom with bandages, skin ointments, fresh cleansers, tweezers, nail clippers, fresh toothbrushes, interesting hair products, etc.
Spiritual
- Find an awesome youth group with peers/friends and insist your teen attends
- Offer to host Backyard Bible Club
- Send your teen on a mission’s trip or summer camp with their youth group
- Purchase them a new Bible (there are so many interesting options currently). Feel free to try a theme they particularly love. My teen has a Minecraft comic Bible
- Find catchy, Christian artists and purchase their music
For teens who have most of these needs mostly met, consider trying a qualified mental health professional for a three-month period. Good quality Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) does not take long, but the connection with a client (teen) and therapist can take time.
Case Study Continued
Angela communicated with Simon that she noticed some changes. She said it in a non-judgmental way during a brief one-on-one outing to Simon’s favorite coffee shop near their home. She made sure to give him space for talking, but was okay when he remained silent. She had a new upbeat Christian song ready to play and got him to laugh as she cajoled along. When they got home, Simon found his room tidied up and Angela told him she would be cutting back on her work hours one day a week for the rest of the year. Simon did not reply, but he did seem to smile. Angela had an initial evaluation set up with the only adolescent therapy in her city who was in-network with her insurance and she prayed Simon would warm up to him. It worked! Simon was still adamant that he was done with soccer, but he started to slowly open up to his mom about some comments girls in his grade had made to him. It took work, but things started to feel lighter.
Reaching for Support When Symptoms Remain for Several Weeks
When I work with teens and their families, I always encourage parents to vet around three counselors and allow the teen to choose. Take your time finding a good-fit counselor and invest in attending weekly sessions for three-months. The promise is not that in three-months symptoms will alleviate, but it is possible with focused effort, a skilled professional, and a positive teen-therapist connection, they can make much headway on the mindset work of CBT. Your future teen may thank you!…eventually;)
Sources
Bernaras, E., Jaureguizar, J., & Garaigordobil, M. (2019). Child and Adolescent Depression: A Review of Theories, Evaluation Instruments, Prevention Programs, and Treatments. Frontiers in psychology, 10, 543. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00543
Méndez, J., Sánchez-Hernández, Ó., Garber, J., Espada, J. P., & Orgilés, M. (2021). Psychological Treatments for Depression in Adolescents: More Than Three Decades Later. International journal of environmental research and public health, 18(9), 4600. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18094600
